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Location: Northern California

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

 

A happy goodbye

Between the Christmas and the New Year's Eve parties; the holiday-inspired eating; the last-minute shopping and wrapping of presents; the phone calls to family and friends; the cleaning, baking, cooking; and--yes--the relaxing, I have found some time to think about my blogging.

After much internal debate, I have decided to stop writing in this particular online forum.

The reasons are many and varied, but most have to do with a growing awareness on my part of an intense desire for more privacy in my life. I have shared a lot of things on this blog: some mundane, some meaningful, some existentially profound (I hope), and some potentially damaging. The Internet never forgets, and that fact has been bothering me more and more lately as I watch my babies grow into children who soon will be online themselves. I can't say that I feel good about everything I've written in this very public arena; I also have the sense that I'm quitting while I'm ahead.

I have received many comments and emails about the things I have chosen to share on this blog. Most of the feedback has been amazingly supportive and kind. My favorite emails were the ones that came from people who had found some kind of strength of their own from seeing me get help for my alcohol addiction.

We all have our weaknesses and our flaws. I've always thought one of the best things about the momosphere--and the writings online by moms--is the honest admittance and discussion of the foibles women tend to discover about themselves when faced with one of the most challenging roles of our lives, the role of mother. In our online confessions and ensuing discussions we find solace from our pain and insecurities. Time and time again I have noticed patterns in the mom-centric blogosphere. We are neither alone nor unique; the struggles that surface are universal. There can be the most wonderful sense of community in this online world, and I have received much satisfaction and benefit from being a part of it for the past several years. I thank all of you for that.

Aristotle wrote that "there is no time without change." It's time for a change, and I know that my closing the door to blogging will be allowing another door to open.

P.S. If you see the February issue of Good Housekeeping magazine, check out my essay "The Valentine Box." (I think that's what they're calling it.) It's based on this blog post that I wrote last February. Hey, there's nothing like going out on a high note, huh?

xoxo
mary